How many times have you heard yourself say “I’m not very good at ….”? As you said this statement out loud, were you aware of a low energy sinking feeling of self-doubt and fear inside your body? Many women walk around with a constant inner feeling and belief that they just don’t have what it takes to have what they really want in life. The feeling has been around for so long and we are so used to it that we’ve convinced ourselves that it’s just the way life is. But what if it wasn’t? What if you could change your mind about that belief? What if you could free yourself from that icky feeling of self-doubt and replace it with a new sense of confidence and optimism?
We know that happiness comes from our inner self, and yet most of us spend little to no time developing the inner qualities that will improve our life and give us more of what we want. The good news is that it doesn’t take much time to change your inner experience from self-doubt and fear to confidence and courage!
Do you remember the last time you felt on top of the world? You felt invincible - ready to take on whatever life would throw your way. Perhaps it was the perfect spring day, sun shining, breeze softly blowing, and flowers bursting into bloom. Your mood matched the moment. You felt capable, positive, and alive!
Or maybe you just landed a new client, got a call from a “certain someone” or received praise for a job well done. Just thinking about those moments can cause a lift in your spirits, bring a smile to your face, and a bounce to your step. Remembering when we have felt confident in the past can help us BRING IT when we need it most!
Confidence is about letting go of the need to be what others want you to be and becoming who you are destined to be. Confidence is about being comfortable in our own skin. We are confident when who we are on the outside is congruent with who we are on the inside. It’s about experiencing self-worth – knowing that we are valued and valuable. Confidence is the belief that whatever comes our way, we can handle. It is like an aura that surrounds us, making us aware of that we can do anything we set our minds to and giving us faith in our ability to try.
People aren’t born with all the confidence they need, it needs to be developed. Sure – it seems that some people were born with a leg up in life. We all know people who started life in supportive and nurturing families that provided opportunities for them to get ahead. But many, many successful people have had to pull themselves up by their boot straps and go it alone. They took responsibility for their lives and you can too. Here are three ways you can grow your confidence next time you’re ready to “seize an opportunity”!
Make a list of things you like about yourself. It’s okay to be a little egotistical here. Include in this list the positive things your friends and family say about you. Not only is it important to like yourself, it helps to be aware of your positive attributes. Keep the list and refer to it prior to going into situations that seem intimidating. You will be reminded that you have value and your confidence will soar!
Pay attention to your self-talk. Is it negative? Critical? Blaming? Hurtful? If so, switch the language to positive comments. You have wonderful qualities and, just like everyone else, you also have some “needs improvement” qualities. Yes, you may be disorganized at times AND you also do wonderful things for other people. You are a blend of your positive traits, sprinkled in with a few areas that are a work in progress. Seek self-acceptance, not perfection.
Recognize your mistakes for what they are. Most mistakes can be defined as mistakes of ambition. This means that you are trying something new, solving a problem, working too hard, or trying to do more than you are actually capable of accomplishing given your resources. You will make mistakes. And when you do, take responsibility. Raise your hand and say, “I goofed.” Then, forgive yourself, seek a solution, learn your lesson, and move on.
People are ALWAYS Doing the BEST They can with the Knowledge and Resources They Have At The Time.
Remember, the route to confidence is not a sprint. If you will consistently take small steps to reclaim the natural confidence you were born with, and strengthen your confidence in certain situations, you will feel UNSTOPPABLE CONFIDENCE! You don’t have to wait for a spring day, land a new client, get a call from a “certain someone” or receive praise for a job well done. Simply visualize yourself managing whatever curve balls life might throw your way. See yourself as competent, capable, and confident. Feel the higher energy and optimism that fills your body when you claim UNSTOPPABLE CONFIDENCE! When you do that, you’ll consistently hear yourself say…
I CAN DO THAT!