Do you find yourself wishing that things were different in your life? Do you want a more important or satisfying job, a larger paycheck, a closer relationship? Perhaps you have a wish of finding happiness within yourself or being more hopeful about the future?
We look for solutions to life’s problems from outside sources. Statistics show that 85% of Americans and four out of five women suffer from low self-esteem. A search on Amazon for books on Happiness results in over 100,000 choices. Self-improvement is a $9.9 billion industry, according to Market Research in January 2018.
You might subscribe to podcasts and emails, buy self-help books and audio classes. Or you may pay high prices to hear celebrity motivational speakers and attend their public workshops. And you may hire personal coaches and invest in their year-long training programs. You are searching for a better life and coming up short most of the time and not finding happiness within yourself.
We are unhappy and dissatisfied because we envision a life that is much better than the one we are living. We fear that we may never get there. When we give up looking for happiness outside ourselves and embrace finding happiness from within, that’s when life begins to improve.
A few years ago, I discovered the book “An Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer. It stunned me to find it on the New York Times Bestseller rack at Barnes and Noble. This book was profound for me in its telling of how human beings live in a state of unconsciousness.
We listen to the mind-chatter of fearful and resistant thoughts. It took time to process the concept, but I realized that just because I thought it didn’t make it true! I had thoughts about all the mistakes I’d made and fears about the ones I would make in the future. There were thoughts of rejection, how undeserving I was, and fears of failure and success. I believe all those unhelpful beliefs, but it turned out they were silly thoughts in my head! Most of what I worried about and feared never came true anyway. Some of it did, but not in the way I thought it would. What an awakening!
A few years later, I read Michael Singer’s next book, “The Surrender Experiment”. That book talks about his commitment to allowing his life to unfold on a path of its choosing. When an opportunity arrived in his life, he listened to his resistant thoughts and then said yes anyway. Far more than “feel the fear and do it anyway,” he realized that the best life for him was the one he didn’t try to control!
Michael Singer gave up resisting and trying to control his life. He found that life delivers opportunities for a rich and fulfilling life every day! Opportunities that resulted in a much more meaningful life than the one he thought he would have. The only thing that was necessary to do was to give up his resistance and fearful thinking and say yes to going through each doorway as it came.
I’ve never met Michael, but his life story continues to transform my life. Over the past few years, I’ve practiced becoming aware of my resistance to how my life evolves. I see how much my ego, and its unending desire for attention, approval, and commitment to being right, has been the main reason for my pain and suffering. When I try to control my life, I think I know what’s best, and that I’m supposed to be someone and have certain things. These thoughts turn out to be the biggest blunders in my life. The less I listen to my irrational thoughts of resistance, and the more I trust the evolution of my life, the happier, and more successful, I become. Ignore the resistance and trust the evolution of your life and you can get even closer to finding happiness within yourself.
WHY WE ARE HERE
We are alive today because the powerful force we call God gave us the gift of life, in this time and place. We are here to experience our soul’s journey. Period. Whatever happens to us, good or bad, our soul needs to experience everything it does as it seeks a connection with source. I’m not a theologian, but many believe our journey through life is our soul’s journey back to where we came from. I think we all feel that desire deep inside, but the elements of our external life distract us from acting on this deep core knowing. Perhaps that’s why sitting in silence regularly is the best way to listen to the whispers of where we should go next.
Have you ever found yourself somewhere and wondering how you ended up there on your path to finding happiness within yourself. We seem surprised when we arrive at someplace good, and so we call it luck. We are prone to thinking that most of what happens to us will be difficult or turn out bad. So when something great happens, we think it’s an anomaly.
What if everything that happened to you was what's meant to happen and is all part of finding happiness within yourself. And what if everything great that happens to you is also a part of your soul’s journey to finding happiness within yourself; and even the bad things too! What if you think about if that were true and try it on. If you let go of your resistance to saying yes to the opportunities that arrive in your day, what do you think would happen? And isn’t it at least 50% possible that your life might improve?
LIVING AN INCREDIBLE LIFE AND FINDING HAPPINESS WITHIN YOURSELF
I can tell you, for sure, that my life improves every day that I remember to live with no resistance. I embrace that each new choice, each new mistake, each new invitation is a sign that I should follow. Sometimes I notice that I want to control someone or change an outcome. I take a moment to remind myself that my way may not be the best way. In fact, when I allow my curiosity to take flight, I experience a thrilling sense of adventure. I wonder with glee, “I wonder how this will turn out!”
Here is my advice to you. Start today. Learn how to give up resisting your life. Give in to the spectacular adventure that you should be on. When you feel yourself resisting, and when you want to say no out of fear, that is you resisting your life. THIS is the source of your suffering. It isn't the pain from your mistakes or disappointment over the things that didn’t work out as you planned. Embrace everything that happens from this day forward as part of your soul’s journey to finding happiness within yourself. Live in gratitude that you are along for the ride.